Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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