Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
