I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
