Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize