she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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