So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
