matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
