In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
