Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
