textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
