That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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