and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
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The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
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He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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