Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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