it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
