We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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