As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
