then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
You made out with two different species that night
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
