YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
