Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize