That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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