Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Randomize
