WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
