Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
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