Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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