I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Randomize
