none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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