If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize