She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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