Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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