i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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