Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
