i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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