I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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