I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Randomize
