you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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