I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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