i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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