Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Randomize
