I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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