Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
