she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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