I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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