You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
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