"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
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