Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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