As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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