New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
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