$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
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