i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I deserve this hangover.
Two words: nipple clamps
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