My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
