you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
