My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
