I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
