at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
