Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
