Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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