Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
