Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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