Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
