She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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