Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
These 23 People Prove You Don’t Have To Be A 10 To Be Good In Bed
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
21 People That Had The Worst Birthdays Imaginable
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!