Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
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sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
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I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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