Texts From Last Night

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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.

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  (864): you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack. http://tfl.nu/rq5j
  Replies (40) Good night (593) Bad night (4715)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.

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  (609): i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier. http://tfl.nu/075q
  Replies (14) Good night (4446) Bad night (564)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.

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  (256): he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed. http://tfl.nu/1iir
  Replies (31) Good night (862) Bad night (7058)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm

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  (312): I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm http://tfl.nu/hl7i
  Replies (37) Good night (9165) Bad night (1637)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"

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  (574): no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house" http://tfl.nu/wkle
  Replies (13) Good night (1342) Bad night (8690)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though

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  (817): Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though http://tfl.nu/u94q
  Replies (16) Good night (7192) Bad night (1110)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life

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  (203): chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life http://tfl.nu/2ek4
  Replies (12) Good night (852) Bad night (6066)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.

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  (612): She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me. http://tfl.nu/y2d7
  Replies (5) Good night (1305) Bad night (2105)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.

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  (603): I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility. http://tfl.nu/wqgl
  Replies (13) Good night (2729) Bad night (1150)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.

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  (517): Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying. http://tfl.nu/uj2j
  Replies (3) Good night (2087) Bad night (754)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness

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  (917): he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness http://tfl.nu/2dob
  Replies (2) Good night (463) Bad night (836)
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  (212): View more from New York

  how are things with the new girl?

  (917): View more from New York City

  good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked

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  (212): how are things with the new girl? (917): good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked http://tfl.nu/oe1i
  Replies (6) Good night (3088) Bad night (842)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck

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  (914): Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck http://tfl.nu/xehn
  Replies (2) Good night (2350) Bad night (398)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.

  (619): View more from California

  I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.

  (760): View more from California

  I referred to the cat as amicable.

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  (760): Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat. (619): I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race. (760): I referred to the cat as amicable. http://tfl.nu/ls44
  Replies (4) Good night (1510) Bad night (502)
• Favorite

  (435): View more from Utah

  Sex in the moonbounce later?

  (801): View more from Utah

  This is why I love you.

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  (435): Sex in the moonbounce later? (801): This is why I love you. http://tfl.nu/fq99
  Replies (2) Good night (817) Bad night (150)

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