dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,