My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Randomize
