The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.