Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (832): dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf http://tfl.nu/g2ft
  Replies (6) Good night (807) Bad night (1362)
• Favorite

  (469): View more from Texas

  HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (469): HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers... http://tfl.nu/21iq
  Replies (12) Good night (778) Bad night (3041)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Ontario

  It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed. http://tfl.nu/yc3l
  Replies (19) Good night (979) Bad night (2758)
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (972): Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive. http://tfl.nu/x0bv
  Replies (3) Good night (3721) Bad night (837)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  He tried peeing out of the sunroof.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): He tried peeing out of the sunroof. http://tfl.nu/ep38
  Replies (5) Good night (1437) Bad night (3153)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (209): I don't think child baring hips is a compliment. http://tfl.nu/0err
  Replies (29) Good night (1421) Bad night (2753)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  What color are my eyes?

  (1-519): View more from Ontario

  Ummmm... 34 C?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): What color are my eyes? (1-519): Ummmm... 34 C? http://tfl.nu/3v5v
  Replies (14) Good night (11899) Bad night (1493)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (715): I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it. http://tfl.nu/u4wc
  Replies (15) Good night (3478) Bad night (887)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (515): When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation" http://tfl.nu/vmn5
  Replies (10) Good night (3636) Bad night (1132)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (317): The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often. http://tfl.nu/fdr3
  Replies (4) Good night (2097) Bad night (500)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (306): You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota. http://tfl.nu/9skm
  Replies (5) Good night (1022) Bad night (485)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.

  (1-607): View more from New York

  Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (607): I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid. (1-607): Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late. http://tfl.nu/e8gd
  Replies (8) Good night (1958) Bad night (749)
• Favorite

  (514): View more from Quebec

  Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (514): Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night. http://tfl.nu/qzgt
  Replies (4) Good night (1215) Bad night (644)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (484): He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now. http://tfl.nu/asj4
  Replies (8) Good night (950) Bad night (1296)
• Favorite

  (386): View more from Florida

  i think my cat just said my name.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (386): i think my cat just said my name. http://tfl.nu/zcy1
  Replies (3) Good night (624) Bad night (175)

Randomize